Sunday, December 7, 2008

Draft) A Traffic Jam

-------Every year we visited our family graves at chuseok (Korean Thanksgiving) on the 15th August by the lunar calendar. But, for this year’s “Chuseok” holidays, our family was going to travel abroad. During all holidays, we were planning to stay a “world resort hotel “in Saipan. The world resort had various kinds of swimming pool with tubes for children and many places to rest for adult. At that time, we were in a car to the airport and worried about late arrival for boarding aircraft for Saipan. We prayed to free up the traffic jam. If we could go there, this chuseok would be the best holidays for my life.

1 comment:

Kim said...

I'm a little confused about the purpose of your paragraph. You talk about going to Saipan but you don't tell us what happend. The middle of the paragraph is ok but there's no ending. ^^

1. Time is important in a sentence. You use "every year" which is present and "visited" which is past. It should be "Every year, we visit our family..."

2. "..the 15 of August"

3. "During our holiday, ... stay at World Resort Hotel..."

4. "It has .. kinds of swimming pools.. adults."

5. "We were in the car going to the airport when the traffic suddenly stopped. There was a traffic jam and we were worried about missing our flight. We prayed the traffic would start moving but..."