Saturday, December 13, 2008
Final) National Treasure collapsed in fire
-------Korea’s number 1 national treasure and landmark Sungnyemun, more commonly known as Namdaemun, was swallowed by fire on February 10. Namdaemun was a wooden structure from the Chosun Dynasty. First of all, the destruction of cultural heritage was the result of poor facility maintenance. If we prepare something special to prevent wood buildings from catching fire, it would not have happened. So, because of these poor measures, the national treasure was completely demolished five hours after it caught fire. Next, the government hadn’t ought to open it to the public. In actuality, we need to take measures in order to preserve our cultural heritage.
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It was very sad to watch. I watched it on TV and I felt sorry for the man who set the fire. He must have been very angry to do such a horrible thing.
1. Be careful of vague sentences. "If we prepare something special..." This sentence is very vague so I would suggest using, "if coated it with some kind of fire resistant, it wouldn't have happened."
2. I would suggst using "As a result of the poor measures taken to prevent it..." or "As a result of these poor measures, ..."
3. "... shouldn't have opened it to.."
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